Nerd Test

This test will compute your nerd index. For those who qualify (and only those), it will generate a diploma that you can print put as proof of your nerdiness.

Your name:		(Please type in your name as you want it to appear on your nerd diploma)

Below is a number of statements. For each statement, several different ways to complete the statement are listed. Please select the ending most appropriate for you. For some of the entries, you may find that none of the endings provided is an exact match. In those cases, please select the statement completion that in your opinion reflects the closest match. It is OK to leave an entry open if you feel that all the alternates provided are totally inappropriate, but please note that if you leave too many entries open the test may not score properly.

1.	My gender is ...	male
		female
		whatever turns you on
		unknown

2.	Where there is smoke, there is ...	smoke
		fire
		a health hazard
		a defective circuit board

3.	Home is is ...	wherever I'm currently shacked up
		where the heart is
		where I keep my Radio Shack catalogues
		a common way to refer to a website's topmost page

4.	Never a dull ...	knife
		remark
		moment
		nanosecond

5.	When I hear the word pi, I think of ...	a private investigator
		an Indian monetary unit equal to 1/192 of the rupee
		a cake with baked crust and custard filling
		an irrational number starting with the digits 3.14159265

6.	Spam is ...	a type of luncheon "meat" manufactured by Hormel
		a health hazard
		the theme of a Monty Phyton song
		a good pretext for mailbombing someone

7.	To avoid viruses one should ...	keep away from people who sneeze
		use a prophylactic
		run a real operating system
		never read email with the subject Good Times

8.	For formal affairs I dress in ...	a dark suit
		a lavender dress
		clean clothes
		polyester

9.	My glasses are ...	Ray-Ban
		Gucci
		bifocals
		held together with adhesives

10.	My watch is ...	a Rolex
		a Chaumet
		a Seiko
		digital, with a calculator

11.	My friends call me ...	Tiger
		Darling
		for technical support
		Mr. Spock

12.	One of the first thing I ask new acquintances is where they ...	work out
		get their hair done
		find the best soldering materials
		hang out on irc

13.	Maybe I should invite my friends over to watch ...	the big game
		my collection of 12th century Chinese pottery
		Star Trek reruns
		the person next door who never draws the curtains

14.	My romantic interest would enjoy going with me to ...	Bora-Bora
		a chamber music concerto
		the video-game arcade
		Ehhh, what's a "romantic interest"?

15.	My favourite dish is ...	steak
		tofu
		whatever's in the freezer
		twinkies


16.	My favourite drink is ...	beer
		champagne
		Coca Cola
		Jolt Cola

17.	As a child I liked to play with ...	cars
		dolls
		my chemistry set
		my self

18.	The man I admire most is ...	Arnold Schwarzenegger
		Dame Edna
		Linus Torvalds
		Bill Gates

19.	The woman I admire most is ...	Felicity Shagwell
		Dame Edna
		Marie Curie
		Lara Croft

20.	When I am awake at 4 a.m. it is because ...	my date can't get enough of me
		my date snores
		it is too early to log off
		it is Star Trek night on the late channel

21.	The most expensive thing in my bathroom is ...	an electric razor
		a bottle of perfune
		my mini hydroelectric power generator
		a roll of toilet paper

22.	Nothing builds your character like ...	BASE jumping
		shopping
		finding & fixing memory leaks
		a +4 coat of charisma

23.	The present time is closest to (please check) ...	ten a.m. (I was searching the web for something else when I stumbled over this page)
		three p.m. (oh, my God -- Oprah is is on!)
		five p.m. (just a quick surf before logging off)
		04:00 a.m. (according to the readout on my digital watch)

24.	My favourite language is ...	French
		C
		Java
		Klingon

25.	My favourite sport is ...	BASE jumping
		making long walks in the forest
		Go (no, this is not the same as the previous item)
		Dungeons & Dragons

26.	I'd like to teach the world ...	a lesson
		to sing
		programming
		to leave me alone

27.	On the TV, I always watch ...	action sports
		Oprah
		Star Trek reruns
		the test image

28.	My favourite reading material is ...	Playboy
		Playgirl
		Scientific American
		core dumps

29.	I have a pet ...	Doberman
		rock
		cat
		Tamagotchi

30.	To hack is to ...	kick at a rugby opponent's shins
		write bad prose for money
		program skilfully and enthusiastically
		break into computer systems for fun and profit

31.	The 1st day of the 3rd millennium is January 1, ...	1999
		2000
		2001
		3001